It’s a blessing when we know truly what we want when we listen to our inner voice instead of others. Life is a journey we’re taking, sometimes we’re full and energetic, yet in other cases, we’re down and finding it difficult to cope with everything around us. One of the reasons for that would be that we’re facing different things during our journey, some will make us feel the best and some will shape the obstacles that will trigger and confront us, that eventually, we will raise from if we keep going.
It takes a while to understand that obstacles are good and necessary for our growth and evolution. It’s one of the things we might not appreciate as kids and grownups, who would want to deal with it now? emotionally and physically – at that moment we’re trapped in our own feelings and if we haven’t learned how to deal with it, or how to benefit from it; We are lost, however, we shouldn’t be concerned about that because the universe has its own way of teaching and putting us back into track when we are ready and open to it.
So, I’ve been struggling for a long time, trying to understand (knowing) exactly what I want yet I preferred to listen to other voices and not mine. Instead of celebrating the “weirdness” and “uniqueness” in myself, I tried to “fit” in, but in the same time I had doubts about it, I wanted something different, I thought it was impossible for me to get, and I was too lazy to do a thing about it. I was waiting for others to see that I deserve it instead of taking the chance and running right towards it and making the best of it. And to be frank, I remember that moment I stopped listening to myself – it was when I faced my very first obstacle in life, I was young, confident and full of myself in a way that looked different to others, and I didn’t handle the situation well, I surrendered to it. From that moment it started becoming harder, I relayed on others at some points in my life, at first it made me feel safe like I belong, also discovered that I can give it 50%-60% effort and get an O.K. result then everyone will be cool with it, instead of realizing that it’s making me a mediocre and keeps me away from my real plans and dreams. It’s an ongoing struggle to get in control of my life, to be in charge. It’s not that I think I wasn’t in charge, on the contrary, I just wasn’t the way I should’ve. training our minds to be our best processor and cheerleader is a process that sometimes takes a whole lifetime, but it will make you find your inner peace and seeing what really matters to you.
I gave up a lot of things in the last month of 2019, I gave up a financial security and being part of great team because I wanted to get more out of my life, I knew I have more to give but I couldn’t deliver it, and at some point, I found myself busy thinking about somethings that I don’t care about, in addition for paying attention to negativity instead of focusing on my real, simple needs that have nothing to do with what I’ve been doing. I started with making it simple, moved away from all the negativity with mixed feeling inside me, I knew in my heart that the real struggle is with myself, with the inner voice I’ve been ignoring so, I started talking to myself in a different way, complementing and giving myself more credit in order to try to avoid loud people’s thoughts that could distract me, I needed to stay on my own path, set my own vision that’s why, the second thing I’ve done was forgiving myself, for all the “bad” decisions I made, for not supporting myself enough, for not being the first and the only supporter of me. the third thing was to be, no matter how long it can get that be present at the moment, and it’s not an easy thing to do, being present is in a way to be able to concentrate on one thing, we’re now focusing on, achieve one good goal and not to be a multi-tasker even if the “world” is demanding multitasking skills, I’ve already got that, I need to focus on getting myself into my path and making my dreams a reality.
I’m still in the process of achieving my goals and making my dreams a reality, but I moved to a point that I can enjoy most of the process and realize that obstacles are something I should face, and not run away from.
The main thing I’ve been telling myself every day is that I should compare myself to the me I was yesterday and not to others, simply because each of us is going through his own journey and we’ve been through different things that sometimes others know nothing about and that way we will be free of judgmental people and learn how to accept others with their scars and just hug them, support them and guide them through life with love.